Putting Your Best OkCupid Foot Forward1.) Don’t Pen Pal 
Becoming a pen pal is a total waste of time. All that’s going to happen is you build up expectations, and then when you finally meet that person, you still have to hope you have chemistry. It’s a waste. You need to be brave and just meet people. 2.) Don’t bone too soon (or try not too)It’s New York— you’re happy and excited to meet someone you’re into, I know. But you need to get to know each other first. I’m not judging…We’ve all made this mistake…(clearing throat)… Anywho… One of my guy friend’s explained it like this, when we first start dating, both men and women are totally even as far as liking each other goes. they’re both happy and feeling each other out. You want to maintain that sort of leveled off comfort and ease for a while as you’re building your frame work, and also figuring out if you actually like them. Then once you have sex… if the dude happens to go through some post coital remorse, he’ll remember that he does actually like you and things will go back to normal quickly. Where as if you have sex too soon, he might just get weird, then you’ll get weird, then the whole thing gets weird. Orrrrrr, it’s really great sex and that’s all you have until one day you realize you hate each other. I’m just saying, it’s better to wait. But also, do what you want, there are no hard and fast rules for anything.  3.) Let to let go with Class
If you go on one cupid date, and they don’t text or call you back…don’t keep phone stalking them, and sending them snapchats of your breasts, I’m only telling you this, because, I’ve tried and it never wins them back. Learn from my mistakes. (It was only one date. Leave one text, if you don’t get a response…you weren’t the one. Sorry. Although, people could grow some balls and send the awkward, “Sorry, there wasn’t any chemistry, but we can be friends?” But you don’t want friendship. That shrine on your wall devoted to them says you don’t friendship, so let it go. Onward and upward. 4.) Hurt People Hurt People
If you’re on Okcupid and you’re post break-up, you’re a dick, however, I do understand that getting under someone is a great way to get over someone, but you should let it be known. AND!!! If you must date when you’re clearly not ready to date, you should buy the person anything they want as an apology for going on that date with you, which was probably shitty and super awkward. I once bought a guy an iTunes card because I was such a bitch. We’re still friends. He really loves gift cards, I guess? 5.) Yes, Pictures Matter 
Try to get a photo that looks like yourself, or mostly. There’s nothing worse then showing up on one of those dates and the person looks nothing at all like their photo. I know that we want to all act like we aren’t shallow, but let’s face it, we’re a little shallow. I’m a lot shallow. 6.) Come Alone
Don’t bring your friends on dates. I went on one cupid date and the douche had two guy friends there. I was totally caught off guard.  It was awful. 7.) Relax and just have fun.
Dating is fun!! (This is lie, it’s horrible lie, where is he?!)8.) Be Kind
Do treat all women like ladies. Do treat all men like gentlemen. It’s amazing what happens when people do this. Even if a girl isn’t a traditional girl, treat her like one, you’ll be amazed by the results!! 9.) Relax a little. Take your time.
Everyone is different and special in their own great and odd way, and if you assume that they’re like all of the other guys or girls, then you’ll miss out on that person. We are all our own special person, with our own story. We all want someone to take that time and get to know us. We’re all worth that. 10.) You don’t need to respond to everyone.
Maybe I’m a dick, but I pretty much just delete everyone I would never ever go out with. Then, I look at who wrote something funny, then I respond. If the banter is pretty instant, then I try to set up a date really fast. 11.) Wax on, wax off.
Practice, practice, practice. People who are good at dating are usually douche bags. It’s okay to not be perfect or awkward, because those things are the things that someone is going to fall in love with. 12.) Once you stop caring about who has the power, it’s more fun. 
This is my personal rule. I don’t game play anymore. It saves you lots of thinking and time and bullshit. If I like someone, I just like them, if I don’t, it’s obvious. Everyone is gonna do what they’re gonna do. But I hate the whole, “Then they have the power, and then they know I like them.” I do like them. Liking someone isn’t a crime. I also, have a super busy life with lots of awesome friends. If it fails, it will, learning to accept the “no’s” in life only makes us better people. 13.) Be open minded.
Don’t have a check list of things. Remember that dating is just as horrible and scary for that person as it is for you. At the end of the day we’d all rather have that person we go home to and human burrito and make a love sandwich with while watching breaking bad and getting fat. Well, most of us. So be cool and ask questions and have fun meeting new people you wouldn’t have met otherwise. There are tons of amazing people and there’s no shortage of love, you just need to be open to it.

Putting Your Best OkCupid Foot Forward

1.) Don’t Pen Pal

Becoming a pen pal is a total waste of time. All that’s going to happen is you build up expectations, and then when you finally meet that person, you still have to hope you have chemistry. It’s a waste. You need to be brave and just meet people.

2.) Don’t bone too soon (or try not too)

It’s New York— you’re happy and excited to meet someone you’re into, I know. But you need to get to know each other first. I’m not judging…We’ve all made this mistake…(clearing throat)… Anywho… One of my guy friend’s explained it like this, when we first start dating, both men and women are totally even as far as liking each other goes. they’re both happy and feeling each other out. You want to maintain that sort of leveled off comfort and ease for a while as you’re building your frame work, and also figuring out if you actually like them. Then once you have sex… if the dude happens to go through some post coital remorse, he’ll remember that he does actually like you and things will go back to normal quickly. Where as if you have sex too soon, he might just get weird, then you’ll get weird, then the whole thing gets weird. Orrrrrr, it’s really great sex and that’s all you have until one day you realize you hate each other. I’m just saying, it’s better to wait. But also, do what you want, there are no hard and fast rules for anything.

 
3.) Let to let go with Class

If you go on one cupid date, and they don’t text or call you back…don’t keep phone stalking them, and sending them snapchats of your breasts, I’m only telling you this, because, I’ve tried and it never wins them back. Learn from my mistakes. (It was only one date. Leave one text, if you don’t get a response…you weren’t the one. Sorry. Although, people could grow some balls and send the awkward, “Sorry, there wasn’t any chemistry, but we can be friends?” But you don’t want friendship. That shrine on your wall devoted to them says you don’t friendship, so let it go. Onward and upward.

4.) Hurt People Hurt People

If you’re on Okcupid and you’re post break-up, you’re a dick, however, I do understand that getting under someone is a great way to get over someone, but you should let it be known. AND!!! If you must date when you’re clearly not ready to date, you should buy the person anything they want as an apology for going on that date with you, which was probably shitty and super awkward. I once bought a guy an iTunes card because I was such a bitch. We’re still friends. He really loves gift cards, I guess?

5.) Yes, Pictures Matter

Try to get a photo that looks like yourself, or mostly. There’s nothing worse then showing up on one of those dates and the person looks nothing at all like their photo. I know that we want to all act like we aren’t shallow, but let’s face it, we’re a little shallow. I’m a lot shallow.

6.) Come Alone

Don’t bring your friends on dates. I went on one cupid date and the douche had two guy friends there. I was totally caught off guard.  It was awful.

7.) Relax and just have fun.

Dating is fun!! (This is lie, it’s horrible lie, where is he?!)

8.) Be Kind

Do treat all women like ladies. Do treat all men like gentlemen. It’s amazing what happens when people do this. Even if a girl isn’t a traditional girl, treat her like one, you’ll be amazed by the results!!

9.) Relax a little. Take your time.

Everyone is different and special in their own great and odd way, and if you assume that they’re like all of the other guys or girls, then you’ll miss out on that person. We are all our own special person, with our own story. We all want someone to take that time and get to know us. We’re all worth that.

10.) You don’t need to respond to everyone.

Maybe I’m a dick, but I pretty much just delete everyone I would never ever go out with. Then, I look at who wrote something funny, then I respond. If the banter is pretty instant, then I try to set up a date really fast.

11.) Wax on, wax off.

Practice, practice, practice. People who are good at dating are usually douche bags. It’s okay to not be perfect or awkward, because those things are the things that someone is going to fall in love with.

12.) Once you stop caring about who has the power, it’s more fun.

This is my personal rule. I don’t game play anymore. It saves you lots of thinking and time and bullshit. If I like someone, I just like them, if I don’t, it’s obvious. Everyone is gonna do what they’re gonna do. But I hate the whole, “Then they have the power, and then they know I like them.” I do like them. Liking someone isn’t a crime. I also, have a super busy life with lots of awesome friends. If it fails, it will, learning to accept the “no’s” in life only makes us better people.

13.) Be open minded.

Don’t have a check list of things. Remember that dating is just as horrible and scary for that person as it is for you. At the end of the day we’d all rather have that person we go home to and human burrito and make a love sandwich with while watching breaking bad and getting fat. Well, most of us. So be cool and ask questions and have fun meeting new people you wouldn’t have met otherwise. There are tons of amazing people and there’s no shortage of love, you just need to be open to it.

Top ten reasons why break ups are awesome as f#$&! Or will be once you stop being crazy. 

1.) brand new dick or pussy! I don’t mean to be so crass, but there’s a lot of fish in the sea and for some reason that fish wasn’t your filet-o-sole-mate. So open that okcupid, warm up that right swipe and get back out there! Also, there’s this old fashioned thing called friends, friends have other friends that might know friends you might actually like…that you maybe haven’t slept with yet. Also, there’s a dating app based on that very theory called hinge. I thought it sucked, but I’ve heard good things from others. I’m just giving you options. I’ve also found dates off of Instagram. One was a model and the other a pretty charming 23 year old. The world is your love oyster. So when you’re ready, pluck those chin hairs, wax your George bush, shave the old legs and get out there! 

2.) You know who’s great? You! We often forget how fun we are. It’s nice to find out again, but how? The magic word. YES. One of my favorite movies is “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey. If you haven’t seen it? Go and see it! But my point is, when you’re single again the world is at your finger tips and your new favorite person is YOU and your new favorite word is YES! It’s a math equation. You’re going to put them together. YOU+YES=AWESOMENESS 
YOU need to just start saying yes to every adventure, put yourself out there. Take a class. Do something you’d never do. Talk to someone you’d never talk to. 


3.) Weight loss!! If you aren’t losing weight because of post break up depression or fuck-that-douche workouts, you’re breaking up all wrong. I’ve lost four pounds. I’m hoping for a call from my mom here soon telling me I look sick in my Instagram pictures. 

4.) You have friends that still like you! (for some unknown reason) So call them and let them be there for you. Here’s something that was really hard for me, asking for help! People aren’t psychic. They will eventually pick up that you’re sad from your endless Facebook posts about how sad you are, but you can also just call. People like to help their friends. Then when you’re all better. Which will happen. You can dance and invent and create or just get totally wasted. (Because you’re a drunk) Friends are pretty much the best for a reason.

5.) Which side of the bed are you sleeping on? Oh! The whole fucking thing! Awwww, yeah! Sharing sucks balls. I said it. “I don’t cuddle. I fuck.” Print that. And make it a T-shirt on cafe press. (I can’t take credit, my friend Pete and I made that up. Also, that’s not even true. I really like to cuddle a lot. I’m okay with sharing the bed.)

6.) Breaking up is great when you’re looking for something to inspire you to focus on being the best version of yourself. 

7.) Need to focus on that career. Try breaking up! You’ll find that drive you were looking for. 

8.) Travel. Go to Italy! Go to Hong Kong! Go to anywhere! 

9.) You are the coolest person ever. And if it didn’t work, let it go! Learn to deal with the “no’s”. I’m saying this as a person who isn’t. I wish I was better. Because I lose out on way more than I gain but being bad with the word, no. Also, love is in abundance. And some other gay hippie shit I tell myself so I don’t cry in the shower every night. Oh, this is my favorite one, The heart doesn’t actually break, it only breaks open. That one always makes me happy and tossing my vagina back in shark invested penis water. What I’m saying in all seriousness though, but actually, but really, love is real. I’ve seen it and heard a hundred stories. I’m just skittish because I rush in it too fast. That’s my fault. I should maybe take a little time and get to know these dudes. Then maybe my anxiety wouldn’t go into overload, I don’t know? Just a thought. 

10.) While breaking up is painful, and sometimes we react well and sometimes not. I react differently every time. Sometimes I’m so good, sometimes I’m a real crazy bitch. But you know what? Fuck it! That’s life. And we move on. We forgive ourselves and we learn. We also laugh, because we’re human and just doing the best we can. There are no bad guys, no good guys. Life is just a series of chapters anyway. Some are long, some are short, some have extra chapters, maybe far more than they should, but the point is, we just try and love and it works or it doesn’t…and when it doesn’t, it can still end up being great for us as people. Sometimes loss is what makes us better and helps us grow and become more loving to ourselves and to others in the future. The love you take is equal to the love you make. The Beetles said that. It’s like the movie Her, love can still be this sweet thing that happened and you keep with you, like in a box in your heart. I’m happy and glad that I met shared time with every person I have. I don’t regret a single moment. But I’m most excited about the people I’ll meet next! Because there’s a reason it didn’t work.

Top ten reasons why break ups are awesome as f#$&! Or will be once you stop being crazy.

1.) brand new dick or pussy! I don’t mean to be so crass, but there’s a lot of fish in the sea and for some reason that fish wasn’t your filet-o-sole-mate. So open that okcupid, warm up that right swipe and get back out there! Also, there’s this old fashioned thing called friends, friends have other friends that might know friends you might actually like…that you maybe haven’t slept with yet. Also, there’s a dating app based on that very theory called hinge. I thought it sucked, but I’ve heard good things from others. I’m just giving you options. I’ve also found dates off of Instagram. One was a model and the other a pretty charming 23 year old. The world is your love oyster. So when you’re ready, pluck those chin hairs, wax your George bush, shave the old legs and get out there!

2.) You know who’s great? You! We often forget how fun we are. It’s nice to find out again, but how? The magic word. YES. One of my favorite movies is “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey. If you haven’t seen it? Go and see it! But my point is, when you’re single again the world is at your finger tips and your new favorite person is YOU and your new favorite word is YES! It’s a math equation. You’re going to put them together. YOU+YES=AWESOMENESS
YOU need to just start saying yes to every adventure, put yourself out there. Take a class. Do something you’d never do. Talk to someone you’d never talk to.


3.) Weight loss!! If you aren’t losing weight because of post break up depression or fuck-that-douche workouts, you’re breaking up all wrong. I’ve lost four pounds. I’m hoping for a call from my mom here soon telling me I look sick in my Instagram pictures.

4.) You have friends that still like you! (for some unknown reason) So call them and let them be there for you. Here’s something that was really hard for me, asking for help! People aren’t psychic. They will eventually pick up that you’re sad from your endless Facebook posts about how sad you are, but you can also just call. People like to help their friends. Then when you’re all better. Which will happen. You can dance and invent and create or just get totally wasted. (Because you’re a drunk) Friends are pretty much the best for a reason.

5.) Which side of the bed are you sleeping on? Oh! The whole fucking thing! Awwww, yeah! Sharing sucks balls. I said it. “I don’t cuddle. I fuck.” Print that. And make it a T-shirt on cafe press. (I can’t take credit, my friend Pete and I made that up. Also, that’s not even true. I really like to cuddle a lot. I’m okay with sharing the bed.)

6.) Breaking up is great when you’re looking for something to inspire you to focus on being the best version of yourself.

7.) Need to focus on that career. Try breaking up! You’ll find that drive you were looking for.

8.) Travel. Go to Italy! Go to Hong Kong! Go to anywhere!

9.) You are the coolest person ever. And if it didn’t work, let it go! Learn to deal with the “no’s”. I’m saying this as a person who isn’t. I wish I was better. Because I lose out on way more than I gain but being bad with the word, no. Also, love is in abundance. And some other gay hippie shit I tell myself so I don’t cry in the shower every night. Oh, this is my favorite one, The heart doesn’t actually break, it only breaks open. That one always makes me happy and tossing my vagina back in shark invested penis water. What I’m saying in all seriousness though, but actually, but really, love is real. I’ve seen it and heard a hundred stories. I’m just skittish because I rush in it too fast. That’s my fault. I should maybe take a little time and get to know these dudes. Then maybe my anxiety wouldn’t go into overload, I don’t know? Just a thought.

10.) While breaking up is painful, and sometimes we react well and sometimes not. I react differently every time. Sometimes I’m so good, sometimes I’m a real crazy bitch. But you know what? Fuck it! That’s life. And we move on. We forgive ourselves and we learn. We also laugh, because we’re human and just doing the best we can. There are no bad guys, no good guys. Life is just a series of chapters anyway. Some are long, some are short, some have extra chapters, maybe far more than they should, but the point is, we just try and love and it works or it doesn’t…and when it doesn’t, it can still end up being great for us as people. Sometimes loss is what makes us better and helps us grow and become more loving to ourselves and to others in the future. The love you take is equal to the love you make. The Beetles said that. It’s like the movie Her, love can still be this sweet thing that happened and you keep with you, like in a box in your heart. I’m happy and glad that I met shared time with every person I have. I don’t regret a single moment. But I’m most excited about the people I’ll meet next! Because there’s a reason it didn’t work.

How an ex-stalker can tell they’re actually dating someone? 

Sooooo, You’re in love?! It’s amazing. You tell all of your friends and family. The only thing is, after years of being a stalker, you don’t know if this one is real or just stalking? 

Here’s how you can tell whether is love or just stalking? 

1.) You know this person in real life. This is probably the most important one. Now I don’t mean “we’re friends on Facebook.” Or you’ve met them one time in real life and you feel this strong connection. I mean that you’ve met them and hung out in real life. You have their phone number and when you text them, the response isn’t, “who is this?” 
2.) They don’t currently have a restraining order against you, but not just that…they want to hang out with you like ALL THE TIME. they think you’re great! I know, weird? I’m as shocked as you are, I’ve met you and you’re the worst… but for some reason this person thinks all of your crazy is pretty much the best. 
3.) You’ve had sex in real life with this person. Sure, mentally having sex with someone feels really real, but nothing beats the real thing. And jacking off to their Facebook profile pic while crying isn’t a real relationship, yet. 
4.) You go out on real dates together. Not just go out to places you know they’ll be and sit behind them or near them, hoping this time they’ll see you and when they do they’ll know that you’re the one they’re supposed to be with.
5.) They invite you inside the house, you don’t need to break inside and hide in their closet just quietly breathing and smelling their clothes. 
6.) bike rides aren’t solo events by their house. Now you take them together because he asked you to go! 
7.) You watch movies together now, and not just iMovies you’ve made using google images you’ve found of him and photoshopping your face in and projecting the video you’ve made on your wall in your bedroom, while crying into your boyfriend pillow, because you look so happy together.  
8.) you’ve met his friend. But like because he’s introduced them to you. Not because you’ve gone through his entire Facebook and looked them up one by one by one, and friended each one. 
9.) you’ve travelled together. But he knows it.
10.) you take pictures together. But he knows all about them. 
11.) he calls you his girlfriend, like actually. 
12.) he thinks you’re great just as you are, weirdo and all, even though you still follow him with a newspaper with eye holes cut out of it. 
13.) he says, “I love you.” But not because you have him locked in a basement. This time is for real, he’s not locked up anywhere, he just said it and it’s weird as hell for everyone, including yourself. Suddenly you want the restraining order. Who is this guy?

How an ex-stalker can tell they’re actually dating someone?

Sooooo, You’re in love?! It’s amazing. You tell all of your friends and family. The only thing is, after years of being a stalker, you don’t know if this one is real or just stalking?

Here’s how you can tell whether is love or just stalking?

1.) You know this person in real life. This is probably the most important one. Now I don’t mean “we’re friends on Facebook.” Or you’ve met them one time in real life and you feel this strong connection. I mean that you’ve met them and hung out in real life. You have their phone number and when you text them, the response isn’t, “who is this?”
2.) They don’t currently have a restraining order against you, but not just that…they want to hang out with you like ALL THE TIME. they think you’re great! I know, weird? I’m as shocked as you are, I’ve met you and you’re the worst… but for some reason this person thinks all of your crazy is pretty much the best.
3.) You’ve had sex in real life with this person. Sure, mentally having sex with someone feels really real, but nothing beats the real thing. And jacking off to their Facebook profile pic while crying isn’t a real relationship, yet.
4.) You go out on real dates together. Not just go out to places you know they’ll be and sit behind them or near them, hoping this time they’ll see you and when they do they’ll know that you’re the one they’re supposed to be with.
5.) They invite you inside the house, you don’t need to break inside and hide in their closet just quietly breathing and smelling their clothes.
6.) bike rides aren’t solo events by their house. Now you take them together because he asked you to go!
7.) You watch movies together now, and not just iMovies you’ve made using google images you’ve found of him and photoshopping your face in and projecting the video you’ve made on your wall in your bedroom, while crying into your boyfriend pillow, because you look so happy together.
8.) you’ve met his friend. But like because he’s introduced them to you. Not because you’ve gone through his entire Facebook and looked them up one by one by one, and friended each one.
9.) you’ve travelled together. But he knows it.
10.) you take pictures together. But he knows all about them.
11.) he calls you his girlfriend, like actually.
12.) he thinks you’re great just as you are, weirdo and all, even though you still follow him with a newspaper with eye holes cut out of it.
13.) he says, “I love you.” But not because you have him locked in a basement. This time is for real, he’s not locked up anywhere, he just said it and it’s weird as hell for everyone, including yourself. Suddenly you want the restraining order. Who is this guy?

The first 24 hours of a break up, how to not be totally crazy…well not totally.

You found “The one”? Or so you thought? But it wasn’t for whatever reason and now it’s over. You feel awful. The whole relationship is playing in your head now like old super 8 home movies. You know what went wrong. You know it wasn’t anyone’s fault really, it’s just life, but still it hurts. Your whole body hurts. Here’s what to do and not do and, yes, it’s okay if you go a little crazy. No one does any of this well. 

1.) Don’t judge how you’re feeling. Everyone is gonna feel something different. From total sadness, to complete relief. 
2.) Try to not become self destructive and do cruel things, but if you do, it’s okay, but try to not. While it seems like the smartest idea to hate fuck an ex, it probably won’t make you feel better. It might for a second, but it probably won’t in the long run. Not to mention, that person might have feelings for you. Causing pain isn’t the cure to your current pain. And even though you want to say shitty things to the person you loved, you love them still and you’re just hurt. Just wait for the hurt to go. 
3.) Wait to get back on the Tinder, okcupid horse, while getting back on the horse is a good thing at some point, because we can’t wait around for a day we all know isn’t coming, it’s nice to be kind to our hearts and let ourselves heal. 
4.) Sometimes it’s okay to block them. I know this one seems crazy, but as a person that will obsess and look at everything the person I love is doing. It’s best to just block them from myself. Allow myself time to move on. Social media makes moving on really hard. But also, don’t write passive Facebook statuses about them or how sad you are, or limit them. You’ll regret those later. If you need to vent publicly, create a secret blog. Tell your best girlfriends. But don’t put it on Facebook, you’ll thank me for this. 
5.) try to not text them. I fail at this all the time, but be a better and cooler person than me. The best text is no text. But if you fail, forgive yourself, and move on. Rome wasn’t built in a day, just try to move on. 
6.) find ways to be creative. Make things. Find new hobbies. Volunteer. 
7.) work out and stay healthy, don’t eat Burger King and cry everyday about how someone didn’t love you and your issues.  
8.) remember that everything is in abundance. There are tons of amazing people out there and when the time is right, the universe will bring them to you, but until then work on your shit. 
9.) be happy for the time you had with that person. If that person is meant to be in your life, they will be, but for now, it’s not happening. 
10.) be good to yourself. Be loving and kind. Don’t give up on love. It’s out there.

The first 24 hours of a break up, how to not be totally crazy…well not totally.

You found “The one”? Or so you thought? But it wasn’t for whatever reason and now it’s over. You feel awful. The whole relationship is playing in your head now like old super 8 home movies. You know what went wrong. You know it wasn’t anyone’s fault really, it’s just life, but still it hurts. Your whole body hurts. Here’s what to do and not do and, yes, it’s okay if you go a little crazy. No one does any of this well.

1.) Don’t judge how you’re feeling. Everyone is gonna feel something different. From total sadness, to complete relief.
2.) Try to not become self destructive and do cruel things, but if you do, it’s okay, but try to not. While it seems like the smartest idea to hate fuck an ex, it probably won’t make you feel better. It might for a second, but it probably won’t in the long run. Not to mention, that person might have feelings for you. Causing pain isn’t the cure to your current pain. And even though you want to say shitty things to the person you loved, you love them still and you’re just hurt. Just wait for the hurt to go.
3.) Wait to get back on the Tinder, okcupid horse, while getting back on the horse is a good thing at some point, because we can’t wait around for a day we all know isn’t coming, it’s nice to be kind to our hearts and let ourselves heal.
4.) Sometimes it’s okay to block them. I know this one seems crazy, but as a person that will obsess and look at everything the person I love is doing. It’s best to just block them from myself. Allow myself time to move on. Social media makes moving on really hard. But also, don’t write passive Facebook statuses about them or how sad you are, or limit them. You’ll regret those later. If you need to vent publicly, create a secret blog. Tell your best girlfriends. But don’t put it on Facebook, you’ll thank me for this.
5.) try to not text them. I fail at this all the time, but be a better and cooler person than me. The best text is no text. But if you fail, forgive yourself, and move on. Rome wasn’t built in a day, just try to move on.
6.) find ways to be creative. Make things. Find new hobbies. Volunteer.
7.) work out and stay healthy, don’t eat Burger King and cry everyday about how someone didn’t love you and your issues.
8.) remember that everything is in abundance. There are tons of amazing people out there and when the time is right, the universe will bring them to you, but until then work on your shit.
9.) be happy for the time you had with that person. If that person is meant to be in your life, they will be, but for now, it’s not happening.
10.) be good to yourself. Be loving and kind. Don’t give up on love. It’s out there.

Love Rant

For years I’ve endlessly written about love. No one, or very few people are as obsessed with love as I am. In a way, I kind of love everyone. However, it’s been years since I’ve been head over heals, blissfully in love. Like not just loved another person, because I tend to be able to just love people. It’s just the way that I am. I tend to like or love people in general.

But love, where it’s mutual and about two people learning and growing and giving to each other, he makes me better because I know him and he challenges me everyday.

It’s not like when I say I loved a boy and he was great and awesome, but he wasn’t very into me, like they liked me as person and they slept with me, but they didn’t love me. Like they weren’t really my friend when I look back at those relationships. I didn’t feel very secure. I probably second guessed and overthought everything.

However, when I was in them, because I really liked the guy, because I wanted it to work or hoped he would have that magical change of heart. I thought that if I sent enough boob snapchats or if I was funny enough, they’d like me. But they weren’t actually bothering, because they didn’t feel that extra thing, that unexplainable thing. But I had lots of guys that I didn’t feel that thing for, I mean, we can’t help the way we feel.

Although, We are the sum of everything we’ve ever done. That’s a really awkward way to put it, but I just mean that I’ve learned a lot from how many times I’ve failed and tried again. This is what I’ve learned:

1.) Who cares who has the power! This is the silliest thing ever. “Don’t text back too soon, you’ll give up your power.” That’s so silly. If you like someone and they like you, just do what feels good. You’ll find out real fast if that person isn’t on the same page, because it will start to not feel good. We should do what feels good.

2.) Don’t test! I’m saying this as a notorious tester. I did the weirdest tests. I once told a man that I loved him knowing he wouldn’t want to go out anymore. I wasn’t into him either. I felt really horrible. I wrote him a letter telling him I was sorry later. I used to break up with boys to see if they’d fight for me…they didn’t. What I’m saying is, just be kind. People love kindness. Treat a lover like you treat your best friends. If you treat your friends like shit, well, you’re a dick, no one should date you anyway.

3.) BE PATIENT: this was one that was really hard for me. Just learn to relax and know that just because someone isn’t calling every five seconds doesn’t mean they don’t like you. I started dating late, so I dated like a high school girl for a long time. I was really behind. Not to mention texting is pretty much ruining relationships.

4.) it’s not always you’re fault. It’s probably no ones fault if things feel like they’re not working. It’s probably just not the right fit, even though you want it to be.

5.) Great sex doesn’t equal a great match or a good person.

6.) Get to know them. There’s a lot to be said for a slow burning oven.

7.) When we like someone, and this goes for boys as well as girls, it’s really hard to go by those shitty books that people buy. When a guy or a girl likes someone, it’s unlikely they’re going to wait to return a call. They’re probably going to want to spend time with you. And yes, people get busy, but when someone likes you, they’ll probably just tell you they’re busy and let you know what they’re windows are. They’ll make time for you.

I don’t really know anything. I know that everyone will have a different story. Because everyone is totally weird and crazy, so for anyone to possible offer advise is just silly.

But I can only offer my own adventures and say, I had a better time when I was loving and let myself go in the moment.

I’m really lucky because I’ve met someone who’s just the silliest, he acts just as silly with me.

For some people monogamy is really simple. I’m not saying that it’s not for me. I’m totally not. I’ve just been single for a really long time. I can see why both are great.

The funny thing is, people who are in relationships think it’s really easy to just be in a relationship. They think it’s easy to just find one. They ask people that are single, “why are you single?” Like people know?

After my first boyfriend and I broke up seven years ago, I had a year long, a six month and two months. I had a lot of, “well, that happened.”

I also developed odd rapports with a few men. These weren’t guys I was sleeping with, but simply men I would message or men that would be my friend with a slight sexual undertones.

Even when I was dating someone seriously, I never felt the need or desire to cut off that rapport. Until I met my boyfriend. However, it wasn’t without the slightest bit of sadness.

These men that I had these strange relations with were my shelter from the lonely winter nights, that can still be the hot summer nights of New York. It’s hard to say goodbye to people that you care for. Even if it’s a little weird.

However, out of a bigger love, I’m saying goodbye. It doesn’t mean it’s easy. Maybe other people have felt this sadness before. But it is hard when you’ve been single for so long to say goodbye to the ones who gave you shelter.

I think all I want is that they find a nice gal that will treat them really well. We all need someone for the in between.

Anonymous asked:

I kept putting off sending you a witty message on OKC, you were a favorite... and now you've deleted your account :(

Well, I just couldn’t take internet dating anymore and thought I would just try meeting people in real life. I’ve met a really amazing guy. I’m super sorry.