The missing piece meets the big O might just be the most tragic book I’ve ever read. The part that always gets me, is when the missing piece has dated every loser and douche bag in new York or I mean…she’s met all of the other pieces that didn’t fit her, and then finally she meets the big O! The dude with his shit together! It’s the most painful thing in the whole world. Because he basically tells her, get your shit together, and maybe we’ll meet again one day? Maybe? But no promises. It’s awful. Then you basically just have to hope that one day you meet that O again and he’s not taken.

I mean, that didn’t happen, but that’s what would happen if the book were real.

The missing piece meets the big O might just be the most tragic book I’ve ever read. The part that always gets me, is when the missing piece has dated every loser and douche bag in new York or I mean…she’s met all of the other pieces that didn’t fit her, and then finally she meets the big O! The dude with his shit together! It’s the most painful thing in the whole world. Because he basically tells her, get your shit together, and maybe we’ll meet again one day? Maybe? But no promises. It’s awful. Then you basically just have to hope that one day you meet that O again and he’s not taken.

I mean, that didn’t happen, but that’s what would happen if the book were real.

My mother once told me that when you’re dating you should imagine what the headline would look like when it ends, and I guess what she meant was, you don’t want to do anything scandalous.

I always think about dating in New York and modern dating, and how hard monogamy is, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what my mother said to me a long time ago. I don’t know how long it’s been that I’ve just put all of my eggs in one basket? That includes fully cutting off all strange texting rapports.

My last relationship was the first time that I did that for a while, but the distance started to really get to us. It became more and more lonely, and it became complicated. While I think we both cared for each other, the obvious logistics didn’t make sense in the end. But the beginning was totally what I wanted. It was honest and silly, it was open and pure and organic.

It started to get soured when we started saying things like, “let’s make it open.” Because we thought that would help with the distance and our loneliness, but it made it worse and eventually became its downfall. In the end, everything turned out the way that it should. Regret is a waste of time.

However, I think the best lesson I learned was, I don’t want to add strangeness to my relationships anymore. I’m just going to date one person at a time and be open. I know that people in New York are so wary, and everyone says, “don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.” But I just think I want to enjoy the person I’m with while I’m with them. Whether it lasts or not, at least I can say, I didn’t add any strange elements to make it strange for no reason other than self preservation.

When I look back at my best relationships, at the people I still very much love and are still my friends. It was very organic. It wasn’t full of semi-truths or awkwardness. We just let each other be. That’s all anyone wants. This stuff is rough sometimes, but we just keep trying because it’s worth it.

I’m happy I’ve met the people I’ve met, even when the ending wasn’t the ending I thought it would be, usually it’s the ending it was supposed to be. You can’t polish your glass without a little bit of rubbing.

Putting Your Best OkCupid Foot Forward1.) Don’t Pen Pal 
Becoming a pen pal is a total waste of time. All that’s going to happen is you build up expectations, and then when you finally meet that person, you still have to hope you have chemistry. It’s a waste. You need to be brave and just meet people. 2.) Don’t bone too soon (or try not too)It’s New York— you’re happy and excited to meet someone you’re into, I know. But you need to get to know each other first. I’m not judging…We’ve all made this mistake…(clearing throat)… Anywho… One of my guy friend’s explained it like this, when we first start dating, both men and women are totally even as far as liking each other goes. they’re both happy and feeling each other out. You want to maintain that sort of leveled off comfort and ease for a while as you’re building your frame work, and also figuring out if you actually like them. Then once you have sex… if the dude happens to go through some post coital remorse, he’ll remember that he does actually like you and things will go back to normal quickly. Where as if you have sex too soon, he might just get weird, then you’ll get weird, then the whole thing gets weird. Orrrrrr, it’s really great sex and that’s all you have until one day you realize you hate each other. I’m just saying, it’s better to wait. But also, do what you want, there are no hard and fast rules for anything.  3.) Let to let go with Class
If you go on one cupid date, and they don’t text or call you back…don’t keep phone stalking them, and sending them snapchats of your breasts, I’m only telling you this, because, I’ve tried and it never wins them back. Learn from my mistakes. (It was only one date. Leave one text, if you don’t get a response…you weren’t the one. Sorry. Although, people could grow some balls and send the awkward, “Sorry, there wasn’t any chemistry, but we can be friends?” But you don’t want friendship. That shrine on your wall devoted to them says you don’t friendship, so let it go. Onward and upward. 4.) Hurt People Hurt People
If you’re on Okcupid and you’re post break-up, you’re a dick, however, I do understand that getting under someone is a great way to get over someone, but you should let it be known. AND!!! If you must date when you’re clearly not ready to date, you should buy the person anything they want as an apology for going on that date with you, which was probably shitty and super awkward. I once bought a guy an iTunes card because I was such a bitch. We’re still friends. He really loves gift cards, I guess? 5.) Yes, Pictures Matter 
Try to get a photo that looks like yourself, or mostly. There’s nothing worse then showing up on one of those dates and the person looks nothing at all like their photo. I know that we want to all act like we aren’t shallow, but let’s face it, we’re a little shallow. I’m a lot shallow. 6.) Come Alone
Don’t bring your friends on dates. I went on one cupid date and the douche had two guy friends there. I was totally caught off guard.  It was awful. 7.) Relax and just have fun.
Dating is fun!! (This is lie, it’s horrible lie, where is he?!)8.) Be Kind
Do treat all women like ladies. Do treat all men like gentlemen. It’s amazing what happens when people do this. Even if a girl isn’t a traditional girl, treat her like one, you’ll be amazed by the results!! 9.) Relax a little. Take your time.
Everyone is different and special in their own great and odd way, and if you assume that they’re like all of the other guys or girls, then you’ll miss out on that person. We are all our own special person, with our own story. We all want someone to take that time and get to know us. We’re all worth that. 10.) You don’t need to respond to everyone.
Maybe I’m a dick, but I pretty much just delete everyone I would never ever go out with. Then, I look at who wrote something funny, then I respond. If the banter is pretty instant, then I try to set up a date really fast. 11.) Wax on, wax off.
Practice, practice, practice. People who are good at dating are usually douche bags. It’s okay to not be perfect or awkward, because those things are the things that someone is going to fall in love with. 12.) Once you stop caring about who has the power, it’s more fun. 
This is my personal rule. I don’t game play anymore. It saves you lots of thinking and time and bullshit. If I like someone, I just like them, if I don’t, it’s obvious. Everyone is gonna do what they’re gonna do. But I hate the whole, “Then they have the power, and then they know I like them.” I do like them. Liking someone isn’t a crime. I also, have a super busy life with lots of awesome friends. If it fails, it will, learning to accept the “no’s” in life only makes us better people. 13.) Be open minded.
Don’t have a check list of things. Remember that dating is just as horrible and scary for that person as it is for you. At the end of the day we’d all rather have that person we go home to and human burrito and make a love sandwich with while watching breaking bad and getting fat. Well, most of us. So be cool and ask questions and have fun meeting new people you wouldn’t have met otherwise. There are tons of amazing people and there’s no shortage of love, you just need to be open to it.

Putting Your Best OkCupid Foot Forward

1.) Don’t Pen Pal

Becoming a pen pal is a total waste of time. All that’s going to happen is you build up expectations, and then when you finally meet that person, you still have to hope you have chemistry. It’s a waste. You need to be brave and just meet people.

2.) Don’t bone too soon (or try not too)

It’s New York— you’re happy and excited to meet someone you’re into, I know. But you need to get to know each other first. I’m not judging…We’ve all made this mistake…(clearing throat)… Anywho… One of my guy friend’s explained it like this, when we first start dating, both men and women are totally even as far as liking each other goes. they’re both happy and feeling each other out. You want to maintain that sort of leveled off comfort and ease for a while as you’re building your frame work, and also figuring out if you actually like them. Then once you have sex… if the dude happens to go through some post coital remorse, he’ll remember that he does actually like you and things will go back to normal quickly. Where as if you have sex too soon, he might just get weird, then you’ll get weird, then the whole thing gets weird. Orrrrrr, it’s really great sex and that’s all you have until one day you realize you hate each other. I’m just saying, it’s better to wait. But also, do what you want, there are no hard and fast rules for anything.

 
3.) Let to let go with Class

If you go on one cupid date, and they don’t text or call you back…don’t keep phone stalking them, and sending them snapchats of your breasts, I’m only telling you this, because, I’ve tried and it never wins them back. Learn from my mistakes. (It was only one date. Leave one text, if you don’t get a response…you weren’t the one. Sorry. Although, people could grow some balls and send the awkward, “Sorry, there wasn’t any chemistry, but we can be friends?” But you don’t want friendship. That shrine on your wall devoted to them says you don’t friendship, so let it go. Onward and upward.

4.) Hurt People Hurt People

If you’re on Okcupid and you’re post break-up, you’re a dick, however, I do understand that getting under someone is a great way to get over someone, but you should let it be known. AND!!! If you must date when you’re clearly not ready to date, you should buy the person anything they want as an apology for going on that date with you, which was probably shitty and super awkward. I once bought a guy an iTunes card because I was such a bitch. We’re still friends. He really loves gift cards, I guess?

5.) Yes, Pictures Matter

Try to get a photo that looks like yourself, or mostly. There’s nothing worse then showing up on one of those dates and the person looks nothing at all like their photo. I know that we want to all act like we aren’t shallow, but let’s face it, we’re a little shallow. I’m a lot shallow.

6.) Come Alone

Don’t bring your friends on dates. I went on one cupid date and the douche had two guy friends there. I was totally caught off guard.  It was awful.

7.) Relax and just have fun.

Dating is fun!! (This is lie, it’s horrible lie, where is he?!)

8.) Be Kind

Do treat all women like ladies. Do treat all men like gentlemen. It’s amazing what happens when people do this. Even if a girl isn’t a traditional girl, treat her like one, you’ll be amazed by the results!!

9.) Relax a little. Take your time.

Everyone is different and special in their own great and odd way, and if you assume that they’re like all of the other guys or girls, then you’ll miss out on that person. We are all our own special person, with our own story. We all want someone to take that time and get to know us. We’re all worth that.

10.) You don’t need to respond to everyone.

Maybe I’m a dick, but I pretty much just delete everyone I would never ever go out with. Then, I look at who wrote something funny, then I respond. If the banter is pretty instant, then I try to set up a date really fast.

11.) Wax on, wax off.

Practice, practice, practice. People who are good at dating are usually douche bags. It’s okay to not be perfect or awkward, because those things are the things that someone is going to fall in love with.

12.) Once you stop caring about who has the power, it’s more fun.

This is my personal rule. I don’t game play anymore. It saves you lots of thinking and time and bullshit. If I like someone, I just like them, if I don’t, it’s obvious. Everyone is gonna do what they’re gonna do. But I hate the whole, “Then they have the power, and then they know I like them.” I do like them. Liking someone isn’t a crime. I also, have a super busy life with lots of awesome friends. If it fails, it will, learning to accept the “no’s” in life only makes us better people.

13.) Be open minded.

Don’t have a check list of things. Remember that dating is just as horrible and scary for that person as it is for you. At the end of the day we’d all rather have that person we go home to and human burrito and make a love sandwich with while watching breaking bad and getting fat. Well, most of us. So be cool and ask questions and have fun meeting new people you wouldn’t have met otherwise. There are tons of amazing people and there’s no shortage of love, you just need to be open to it.